the grapes of april

Hello, fabulous people!

INTERN has returned from her sylvan hideaway (yes, it was a camping trip—Techie Boyfriend always seems to sense when INTERN needs to be kept away from things like electrical sockets at all costs, and INTERN's mental health, volatile at the best of the times, is feeling much more robust after a week spent searching for morels. ((an activity only slightly complicated by the fact that neither Techie Boyfriend nor INTERN have the faintest idea when morels are supposed to fruit, nor where to find them.))

This month has been a hailstorm of book-related activity, little of which has actually made it onto this blog because INTERN has, by and large, been too hyperactive and/or consumptive to post. Anyway, here's what's been going on:

-A few weeks ago, INTERN's forthcoming book received its first review. (title of said book is 99 Funky Getaways For Active Seniors In the Midwest. There, INTERN has finally divulged her secret! Go forth and purchase it from your favorite independent bookstores! ) INTERN's publicist told INTERN the date on which to expect the review, and INTERN duly stayed up late fretting the night before, then arose very early, her heart filled with dread, to see if she could track the damn thing down.

After a quick internet search, INTERN found the review, but by that time INTERN's mind was so clouded with dread and paranoia that she could literally not comprehend the words on the screen. Reading the review felt like this:

Actual wording of review: " 99 Funky Getaways For Active Seniors In the Midwest is an indispensable and often hilarious guide to..."

INTERN sees: 99 Funky Getaways For Active Seniors In the Midwest is a useless pile of snake-baloney whose paltry attempts at humor fail to..."

Actual wording of review: " 99 Funky Getaways For Active Seniors In the Midwest will find an eager audience among seniors, twenty-somethings, infants, toddlers, and the deceased."

INTERN sees:: 99 Funky Getaways For Active Seniors In the Midwest will be sneered at with equal disdain by seniors, twenty-somethings, etc...."

It was a truly horrifying morning. A few hours later when the rest of the world was awake, INTERN's publicist called.

Publicist (wearing a grin audible through the telephone): "Aren't you just ecstatic?"
INTERN (haggard and delusional): "I guess you saw the review."
Publicist: "Haven't you read it yet? It's positively glowing."
INTERN: (*quiet sob of shame*)
Publicist: You haven't read it.


-In other book-related developments, a big box of ARCs (Author Review Copies) arrived while INTERN was hunting for morels, which Hippie Roommate duly opened and set up bookstore-style so that a veritable co-op table of 99 Funky Getaways For Active Seniors In the Midwest was waiting on the kitchen table when she returned.

Said Hippie Roommate: "I sent a copy to my grandma. I hope you don't mind."

Vampire Roommate has not commented on the books, but with Vampire Roommate, an exorcism is never far off.

-INTERN has also been cranking out tons of Funky Senior-related essays and articles for various magazines and newspapers, as part of the book's promotional campaign. Sometimes, INTERN feels like her life has come to revolve around Funky Seniors, their antics and their needs. Sometimes, INTERN would rather snip off a piece of her brain than write another bright and funny bulleted list of things Funky Seniors should not forget to bring when they go on their Active Getaways. Ye Gods! INTERN has also been learning a few things about the magazine and online magazine markets, which she will discuss in a future post.

-INTERN's publicist has stated, ominously, that television and radio are next on the Reading Railroad. INTERN's publicist should really refrain from saying alarmist things like that, because INTERN is apt to flee the country. Publicist, you have been warned.

**

Well, that brings things more or less up to date. INTERN apologizes for being rather scatterbrained lately. If anyone cares to comment with coping strategies or Buddhist chants or recommendations for pleasant mental asylums, please do. It is so wonderful to see you all again!


P.S. Yes, comment moderation is turned on again—but hopefully not for very long. It's mostly to help INTERN keep track of conversations and remember to respond. Humbly requesting your patience!