...she is going to:
1. Check herself into the nearest Sanitorium.
2. Change out of and possibly wash the black fleece Revision Pants she has been wearing for six weeks.
3. Eat something that hasn't been sitting in a #%@$#$ crockpot for a week and a half.
4. Apologize to the people she has alienated, snarled at, and/or wept on over the course of said Revision.
5. Learn a new juggling trick.
6. Identify a new sort of wild mushroom.
7. Make plans to write a second novel that is infinitely simpler, neater, and more obedient than the first one. A foolproof novel! A novel that will require no Revision whatsoever! A novel that will come out of the box pre-assembled and smelling like glue!
8. A novel that won't wrap INTERN up in a poisonous cocoon of self-doubt and despair! A novel that will leave INTERN feeling like a genius every time she writes instead of a bumbling hack! A novel that will assuage all INTERN's fears and insecurities! A novel made of gold!
9. Search India suitcase for leftover Valium.
10. Watch some Christmas specials.
11. Go for a walk.
12. Look up "perspective" in the dictionary.
I'm outlining Novel Two right now and I'm totally in the same place. It's going to be so much better structured, with such vivid characters and meaty conflict. The truth will be evident as soon as I start drafting but right now, boy that book is going to be a breeze.
ReplyDelete*places gentle kiss on INTERN's forehead* I hope that Items 7-12 all come true. I'll put in a good word with Santa for you.
ReplyDeleteLet me know when you find #8!
ReplyDeleteIf you figure out the trick for number 7, we'd all love to know it. :D
ReplyDeleteI just finished revisions for draft 2, and feel like I've come out of a well. And I know I have at least one more draft to go before being done. Yikes.
Thanks, Pamala! Just what INTERN needed :)
ReplyDeleteAnita: When INTERN discovers the secret to #7 and #8, you will be the first to know...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your stress, but glad we're closer to reading your amazing novel!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Let me know if you find where to buy "a novel in a box". I've been looking everywhere for one!
ReplyDeleteGood stuff, just in time to be chilled out for the holidays...if Intern knows of a pair of good fleece revision trousers (as we call them ower here en ecosse), please recommend. It is baltic in my flat.
ReplyDeleteLooks like a good list. Except that item #2 seems a bit extreme.
ReplyDeleteWow - I'm about as happy as one can be for a complete stranger :) . Thanks for sharing the journey.
ReplyDeleteI love number 12!
ReplyDeleteschietree: Revision Trousers sounds so much more professional than Revision Pants...sigh...
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad that #12 is so hard to wrangle. You could eliminate half the list. All that would be left is the fun stuff. I have to move #12 from list to list to list.
ReplyDeleteI definitely need Revision Pants - my Plotting Pants are full of holes.
ReplyDeleteAnd congratulations on revisioning your vision of your temple! May the juggling commence!
I love your self-description (at left).
ReplyDeleteHa, ha. Novels without revision are like unicorns. I still believe!!!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like what my life was during NaNoWriMo. So lucky I didn't get food poisoning!
ReplyDelete