Day NOT done with burrito.
After burrito, INTERN checks her e-mail and sees 25-question author questionnaire from her publisher's publicity department, due in a couple days.
SEND ME TO ME VOMITORIUM.
The author questionnaire is designed to extract every last bit of news-worthiness from a writer's tortured flesh. And THE INTERN is nothing if not completely un-newsworthy. THE INTERN is not interviewable or photographable. Her looks, Valentine, are laughable. She's basically a wretch.
Feeling bleak, THE INTERN sends boyfriend out for a quart of Jack Daniels (actually, sends him out for one of those delicious Mexican popsicles, coconut flavor) and gets down to business.
Question 10: Who would you like to endorse your book?
Dear Publicity people. Here is my list:
1. Barack Obama
2. The Moon
INTERN too drunk to go on.
Awesome blog. Editorial Anonymous is in love with you and I can see why. Thanks for the inside scoop.
ReplyDeleteHey, Intern, love your blog!
ReplyDeleteLook, here's a PAID internship - www.orbitbooks.net/2009/06/04/orbit-summer-intern-wanted/
Congrats on your publishing deal. Or not.
I just found you through Editorial Anonymous. *waves* You need a follow gadget since you will now have tons of fans.
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog.
oh boy. you have a blog!!! hahaha. i wonder if you work for me. ;)
ReplyDeleteYes! I am an author who has just gone through ANOTHER round of the Marketing Questionnaire of Doom (because my second book is coming out next year) and this is EXACTLY how I feel about it. It is consoling to know I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAuthor questionnaire - Ahh!
ReplyDeleteThey're horrible - unless you don't mind sounding like a pantload.
INTERN say:
ReplyDelete-Sara: congrats on Orbit Internship. Thee the cash raketh shall!
-moonrat: INTERN serves no master and all masters! INTERN works for you and without you! AAAAAAAH!
-Anon.: INTERN had nightmares last night about author questionnaire.
-everyone else: holla.
Belated comment, having found you (like everyone) through Editorial Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteTo anyone who may ever be confronted with a marketing questionnaire, PLEASE please please fill it out, even if you fill it solely with inebriated ramblings. If you don't, you will a) make the lives of my fellow publicity wage slaves even more miserable, and b) have absolutely zero credibility when you later try to complain that the marketing department is doing nothing for your book.
(And honestly, it would absolutely make my day if the moon/Obama answer turned up on a questionnaire.)
INTERN say:
ReplyDeletethanks for comment on questionnaires, Anon. INTERN has place in heart for publicity people. do you think publicity people can snag INTERN an endorsement from the moon, though?