Day in the Life

What does an editorial intern do all day, you ask? It goes something like this. This applies to pretty much any intern at any publishing house, unless someone wants to come along and prove me wrong.

7:00 Wake up, put on clothes that are lying on floor next to bed.

7:10 Eat bowl of discount cereal with slosh of roommate's milk.

7:30 Leave house. Ride beat-ass bicycle down the street to the commuter train station, busk/panhandle/turn tricks for train fare.

8:00 Get on train, holding bicycle with one hand while holding ceiling strap with other. Dodge dirty looks from other passengers, who are afraid of getting THE INTERN's bicycle filth on their business pants.

8:45 Arrive in the city. Haul bike up the stairs from the train station, bike remaining mile to Big Ole Fancy Office Building downtown.

9:00 Arrive at Big Ole Fancy Office Building. Tip proverbial hat to doorman on way in. Haul bicycle up three flights of stairs to avoid embarassing anyone in the elevator.

9:15 Tidy up in bathroom: wash face, finger-comb hair. Get mug of coffee from office kitchenette. Say hello to busy editors.

9:30-12:30 Read manuscripts, send out declines (we don't call them rejection letters anymore), have epic battles with mail machine ("what the fuck, don't tell me it costs $9.62 to send a letter to Portland. I'm gonna smash your face in. print label! print it, you bastard!")

12:30 Walk to grocery store, spend $1.87 on a bagel and a carrot stick for lunch. Eat lunch on park bench, next to a snoozing bum.

1:30-4:30 Attend editorial meetings, hunt down contact info for book endorsements, proofread mega manuscripts, mail some shit.

4:30-5:30: Out of stuff to do, stare at computer screen or organize bookshelves.

5:30: Haul bicycle down three flights of stairs, say goodbye to doorman, ride to commuter train, board train.

5:45: Gangstery-looking white dude on train: "What you do?" INTERN: "I'm an intern at a publisher." Gangster: "That pay good?" INTERN: "It doesn't pay at all." Gangster: "What kind of bitch-ass job don't pay nothing?" INTERN: "It's supposed to be good experience." Gangster: "I can get you a job at Phat Boyz stereo. My brother works there. You shouldn't work no job that doesn't pay you nothing." INTERN: "yeah." gangster: "what they make you do all day like a intern?" INTERN: "I mostly read stuff." gangster: "shi-i-i-t."

6:15: Get off train. Haul bicycle down stairs. Bike through the incredibly impoverished Mexican neighborhood where THE INTERN lives, stop to buy 3-pound burrito, crash through gates to apartment.

7:00: Sit on front steps sharing burrito with boyfriend. Boyfriend: "you look shell-shocked." INTERN: "mmmmmmmmmmfffff."


Hey college kids! YOU CAN BE AN INTERN TOO!

:) :) :)