Sleep-deprived, and practically hallucinating. INTERN was mailing out galleys this morning, and inadvertently put $46.50 worth of postage on a small flat parcel destined for New Jersey. Caught it just in time. Yesterday evening when INTERN went outside to check on her basil, she thought to herself "the basil needs editing". Not thinning. Editing. And just now INTERN's task has been to track down contact information for famous authors to endorse less-famous authors' books, and has found herself gleefully composing improbable letters to the likes of Dr. Oz.
Luckily there are official tasks available to a frazzled INTERN on a day like this. Namely, taking all the file folders in the giant metal file-thing and flipping them around to face the other direction. Really. This task is not as boring as it sounds, because each flip of a folder grants INTERN a glimpse of what meaty or interesting document said folder contains, often book contracts and agent/editor/author correspondence.
Too tired to go on. Too many occurrences of the word "INTERN". Too many basil shoots. Now entering land of infinite psychosis.
Dear Sweet Intern, have you read The Subversive Copy Editor? It won't just invade your garden, it'll invade your dreams...
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Intern! The weekend's coming and the basil can wait a while longer.
ReplyDelete:)
G.
PS - If the Dr. Oz note gets to him before he begins shooting his new show, he may respond positively. He's a nice guy. :)
Oh, my! You do need some sleep.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of editing the basil.
The basil needs editing and thinning, perhaps? Hope you get some solid sleep (or at least some really dark coffee) soon!
ReplyDelete"The basil needs editing!" I love it :) Hope you get some shuteye soon.
ReplyDeleteGosh, if only there were some kind of book to help a frazzled urban youngster as yourself with your basil problems...
ReplyDeleteYo Peeps, Let's Plant Some Shizznit (Basil Edition)
I love basil!
ReplyDeleteEven in a psychotic state, your little tidbits are so helpful. So good to know that my letters are (hopefully) saved in a special folder. Hopefully soon, there will be an acceptance letter in that folder, since all the letters so far have been my own (except the original request letter, which I've had for 9 months!) Intern, you're a joy. Get some sleep. PS: Do unagented requests for the manuscript get their own folder too?
ReplyDelete> "the basil needs editing".
ReplyDeleteROFL! Oh dear! You've made my day.
As long as you're not driving or operating heavy machinery... hallucinate away!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good way to shake hands with your subconscious!
Haste yee back ;-)
The land of infinite psychosis?
ReplyDeleteSounds like the setting of your next book. Can't wait to read it.
The WRITER too is hallucinating. How many more rejection letters can she take where her name and the title of her manuscript are slightly off line with text, and so obviously mail-merged? Looking at her most successful tomato plant yet, counting at least ten fruit, she thinks, would this make a good short story?
ReplyDeleteWhat you need is 1293 lattes. I hear there's a manuscript floating around your office with that many lattes.
ReplyDeletePoor INTERN. When you get the point where kitchen herbs cry out for revision, it is indeed time for a nap.
ReplyDeleteLast time I got there I started thinking "CTRL+Z" every time I messed up something like putting the wrong ingredient in the lasagna, or blowing by a cop going 15 over the limit.
Pity we don't have shortcut keys for life. :)
ROFL! "Basil needs editing" hilarious.
ReplyDeleteIndulge yourself. Sleep.
Iris
http://irisblack-author.blogspot.com
Have you noticed that the buttons on the postage machine makes such a soothing noise when you can't tell if you're standing on your feet or laying down?? Maybe that's what led to the 4 large in postage to Jersey.
ReplyDeleteAnd basil is thinned?? Thinned? No wonder my gifted herb garden (complete with two types of basil) is looking sickly. Not only are my thumbs literally brown, they seem to also hold the figurative connotation as well. I'm starting a quarter jar here for THE INTERN for all the useful gems you're handing over FOR FREE.
Thanks!
Chop the basil, mix with some chopped tomato, drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a dash of salt. That will at least get you fed and solve the basil problem. It's my favorite summer salad.
ReplyDeleteThe rest... maybe a good nights sleep?
Anon: Declined (rejected) authors' cover letters are saved for a while, but declined authors don't get their own folder. And eventually, even published authors' folders get shipped to a big scary warehouse somewhere in the midwest for perpetual storage...???
ReplyDeleteI think for 46.50 you can 2nd day mail yourself to Jersey if you're limber enough.
ReplyDelete