INTERN’s New Year’s Resolutions 2010
-Preemptively get full sleeve tattoos of Paul Celan poems in the original German so that the (undoubtedly uber-sophisticated) Other Interns at Venerable McPulitzer Publishing Co. can see that INTERN is Serious about Literature.
-Overcome fear of police officers, border guards, mall cops, and friendly but square acquaintances who may or may not have spotted INTERN before she ducked behind the nearest bookshelf wearing a large sweater as pants and a slightly muddy tea cozy for a hat.
-Overcome fear of/desire to mate with Espresso Book Machine.
-Self-publish thinly-veiled, completely “fictional” “novel” on Espresso Book Machine.
-Philanthropic goal: Design simple, crank-powered Kindle à la One Laptop Per Child so desert nomads and children in third-world villages can read the New York Times on glare-resistant e-ink display.
-Delete embarrassing photographs of self with Espresso Book Machine from hard drive.
-Overcome fear of acquaintances in general.
-Finish revising novel *for reals* so that Techie Boyfriend can stop banging his head against the wall each time INTERN claims to be “almost done except for one more total rewrite”.
-Make it through next internship alive and full of useful knowledges.
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It is so so so good to be back! INTERN is filled with love and excitement! Hello hello!
Hello and welcome back. I hear the Espresso Machine is pinin' for you!
ReplyDeleteHello hello indeed! Welcome back!
ReplyDeleteHurray for The Intern! LOL! Your affair with the Espresso Book Machine sounds exciting. Maybe a little too exciting. ;-)
ReplyDeleteDelete embarrassing photographs of self with Espresso Book Machine from hard drive.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on this, but take it from me - that alone won't do it. To permanently get rid of all incriminating Espresso Book Machine photos (especially with techie boyfriends about), you have to reformat your hard drive, and even that's not a sure thing. Suffice to say, the river here is littered with fragments of my sinful past.
So does that mean you actually did get the internship at Venerable McPulitzer? Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteGreat to have you back! Hope the new internship goes swimmingly - when do you start?
ReplyDelete"Finish revising novel *for reals* so that Techie Boyfriend can stop banging his head against the wall each time INTERN claims to be “almost done except for one more total rewrite”."
ReplyDeleteI have an identical resolution, right down to the Techie Boyfriend. Good luck, and can't wait to read about your 2010 interning adventures!
Yep, In 2010 I resolve to update my hard drive, I hear there's a software update called Viagra!
ReplyDeleteOn to Predictions:
I predict... no new letters will be added to the alphabet!
Haste yee back ;-)
Our Bruce Springsteen lyrics tattoo has opened a surprising number of doors. Huzzah for INTERN's new INTERNship!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see INTERN back and with hopeful resolutions. I hope that VMcP can see the beauty and brilliance of INTERN and finally ponies up a salary so that you, techie boyfriend and Espresso Book Machine can live happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteYour Techie Boyfriend and That Boy I Married should start a support group. Huh. Maybe that should be his resolution.
ReplyDeleteHi, glad you're back. Super windy here. I wonder if we teachers are going to get an extra day off. Does the school system ever declare a wind day?
ReplyDeleteI don't know...just imagine the offspring you and the Espresso Book Machine could produce--a POD machine that edits.
ReplyDeleteDobby? Is that you?
ReplyDeleteYour desire to mate with the Espresso Book Machine is definitely a step up from my desire to mate with a Big Mac. I have a cease and desist from Ronald himself, the selfish bastard.