One of the most cited reasons agents and editors give for
declining manuscripts is “there wasn’t enough conflict” or “the stakes weren’t
high enough.” For this reason, writers have learned to pile on
conflict—checking for internal and external tensions in every scene, giving
each character a backstory wound, defining clear and compelling story goals,
etc.
But while these strategies can and do lead to stronger story
telling, they can also backfire in confusing ways. Over the past six months,
the freelance editor version of myself has noticed a peculiar phenomenon:
manuscripts with loads of conflict that are nevertheless deadly boring.
“What’s going on here?” I found myself thinking again and
again. “There’s so much drama, but I don’t give a tinker’s damn.” (No damns at all! Not a one!)
It turns out these writers had misplaced their conflict in
various ways. It’s like keeping gasoline in the trunk of your car instead of
putting it in the tank. Sure, you have gas, but it’s not doing you any
good. Gas is only useful if it’s in the tank—and conflict sort of works the
same way.
Here are some of the weird places writers mistakenly stash
their story’s fuel.
1. Conflict pertains to
every character EXCEPT the main character
One thing I’ve seen a lot of lately are outlines that look
like this:
Bonnie McPhee is a
thirty-year old osteopath whose life has just hit a wall. Her boyfriend’s
sister is facing life in prison, her parents’ house just got foreclosed on, and
her neighbor’s son got diagnosed with leukemia. Then she makes a startling
discovery about her great-grandfather’s past.
This story has so much drama—prison! deadly diseases!
financial crises! dark family secrets!—but the protagonist’s role in them is
unclear. Where’s Bonnie in all this? What does she stand to gain or lose? Why
do we care that she resolves a dark secret from her great-grandfather’s past?
What about her?
Obviously, it is possible to craft a great novel in which
the protagonist’s friends and family are embroiled in crises—maybe the whole
point is to show your MC’s journey from being a doormat with no life of her own
to refusing to let other people’s drama dominate her existence. But if that’s
the case, you have to really show
that journey and develop it just as much as you’ve developed the other crises;
in other words, make it into a conflict.
2. Conflict is MC’s,
but does not relate to overall story goal
Another common place where conflict tends to drift off course
is in a novel’s subplots. Here’s an example:
Joe Kerp wants to be
the first blind person in space, and is taking exhausting astronaut training
sessions in his spare time. Along the way, his house gets broken into by a
neighborhood thug, his mean coworker tries to get him fired, his girlfriend
runs off with his best friend, and a freak snowstorm kills his prized plum
trees.
Yes, our protagonist is subject to many trials, but they
feel random and episodic—nothing connects to anything else. Because the
conflicts don’t connect to the larger story, the scope of their impact is very
limited: you get a string of minor setbacks, none of which have any game-changing
effect on Joe’s goal of becoming an astronaut.
Now, if the neighborhood thug stole his top-secret astronaut
files, and his girlfriend proceeds to run off with said neighborhood thug, and
it turns out Joe is the center of an international space conspiracy, that’s a
different story. In general, conflict works better when it is tightly to
connected to the internal and/or external story goals.
3. Backstory wound
does not relate to story present
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If your novel contains
a zillion flashbacks to the day your protagonist’s little brother drowned in a
swimming pool while your protagonist stood by, helpless, you’d better make sure
that themes of guilt and helplessness come up in the present story’s conflicts,
whatever those conflicts may be. Otherwise, all those flashbacks are going to
fall into the category of drama for the sake of drama—which does not make for
compelling storytelling.
Now, two more quick/self-explanatory ones:
4. Conflict fails to
escalate or develop
You’d be amazed how many ostensibly high-stakes novel
outlines look like this:
Ch. 1 There’s a bomb
on the cruise ship and we’re all going to die!
Ch. 23 There’s a bomb
on the cruise ship and we’re all going to die!
Ch. 49 There’s a bomb
on the cruise ship and we’re all going to die!
Ch. 50 Bomb resolved!
The End!
Sure, you can have a bomb on your cruise ship for the entire
novel—but no matter how big the bomb is,
you still need to find a way to raise the stakes. Maybe the only way to
defuse the bomb is to throw all children under age ten overboard. Or to dump
oil on the last remaining coral reef. Or…
Keep things moving. No conflict is “too big” to stagnate.
5. New conflicts are
piled on instead of developing existing ones
You know how annoying it is when, instead of picking one
movie on Netflix, somebody makes you watch the first ten minutes of fifteen
different movies while they make up their minds? And just when you’re getting
interested in one movie, they pull the plug on it and switch to a different
one, and then a different one after that? So many manuscripts read like this:
Ch. 1: There’s a bomb
on the cruise ship and we’re all going to die!
Ch. 2: Phone call from
protagonist’s mother. Bank is reposessing the house!
Ch. 3: Protagonist
discovers dark secret from great-grandfather’s past!
Ch. 4: Also, the
ship’s captain and crew are all strung out on heroin, and protagonist is a
former addict!
Ch. 5: Also, dead
whales are floating up beside the ship—why?!?
Readers get tired of investing emotionally in plotlines that
repeatedly get yanked out from under their feet. If you choose to put a certain
conflict in your novel, commit to it.
*
I feel the need to mention that any one of these so-called
conflict “problems” could work fabulously as conscious, well-executed artistic
decisions or constraints. I could imagine an incredible, Waiting for Godot-style bomb-on-cruiseship story in which the
conflict literally never escalates. Or a novel in the vein of Slacker in which there is no single
conflict running through the entire story. My intention here is not to list
“rules”, but rather observations on the most common failure modes in a certain
type of manuscript.
Long story short: no matter how your novel is structured,
make sure the gas is in the tank. Otherwise, it’s nothing but wasted energy…