Monday, August 10, 2009

scenes from life of INTERN

Last night, 1 AM

Techie Boyfriend: Does it ever bother you that we have no fridge magnets?
Sleepy INTERN: Sometimes, I guess.
Techie Boyfriend: It bothers me in the extreme. We keep putting it off. We're never going to get fridge magnets unless we do it right now. Let's go.
Sleepy INTERN: But it's 1 AM!
Techie Boyfriend: Perfect. Walgreens is open until 2.

This morning, 9:30 AM

Very sleepy INTERN: (struggles under weight of 41 memoir proposals) Why are we getting so many of these right now?
Editorial Assistant: It's August.
V. s. I: So?
Editorial Assistant: Think back nine months.
V. s. I: Mmm...December? What happens in December?
Editorial Assistant: People start writing memoirs in December. It takes them about nine months to finish. Then we start getting proposals in August.
V. s. I: They don't REVISE?!?!?
Editorial Assistant: (calls over her shoulder to Assistant Editor) Isn't she cute?

This morning, 10:30 AM

Very very sleepy INTERN: (going to water cooler to fill mug) ...
Head Ed: You look tired.
V.v.s.I: I was up all night selecting and arranging fridg—um, insomnia.
Head Ed: You know what you should do?
Vvvs I: ...
Head Ed: (pulls flier off desk) Ekstatik dancing. You're probably suppressing one of your rhythms. Tonight at 8. Do it.
Vvvvs I: (*how about some ekstatik napping on that red couch?*) Wow. That sounds splendid.
Head Ed: We did a book about it a few years ago.

Coming soon: 7 Days of Fiction Boondogglery. INTERN has been suppressing the urge for too long.


  1. Hmm, why do people start writing memoirs in December?

  2. Ekstatik dancing? I may never be the same!

  3. Isn't she cute?

    SNORT!!!! AHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

  4. Pfft. Ekstatik dancing was so last year. I engage in Wunderpful Jumprope.

  5. At least they're finished memoirs. I'm surprised there isn't just a wave of "I have a great idea for a memoir, will you buy it before I write it" letters in January...

  6. Rumen magnets... you and Techie get ya'all bunch ole' cow magnets, will hold your fridge to a drain pipe! (order over internet if ya want)

    Tuff stuff. I used to eat breakfast every morning with an old farmer, carried two rumen magnets in his overalls. He could move the napkin dispenser across the table when he pulled 'em out his pocket!

    Haste yee back ;-)

  7. I started my memoir in November. See, I am not so predictable. And, I am editing it.

    People make proposals without editing? The English teacher in me shudders and thinks she probably taught some of these people.

  8. I agree with Haste yee back. Cow magnets are awesome to behold. You should have at least one on your fridge.

    Interesting about the memoirs. Sorry you have to look at 41 of them.

  9. Revise their darling works of genius? I think not.

    I heart this blog. That is neither witty nor clever but it is true and I felt the need to share.

  10. "suppressing one of your rhythms"?
    what gibberish.

  11. Itern, there's an award for you on my blog. It's not about memoirs, promise. Though it took me at least nine minutes to write.

  12. Livia

    Perhaps the Christmas Spirit?



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