Wednesday, April 25, 2012

in which INTERN and real, actual Hilary have a brawl...also, NEW TITLE REVEAL

real actual Hilary: *wanders in* *looks around*

INTERN: Whoa, whoa, whoa—what are you doing here? Get out before someone sees you!

real actual Hilary: Too late. Don't worry, this picture's nice and blurry, just the way you like it.

INTERN: Stop! Go away! Why are you doing this?

real actual Hilary: I thought it would be nice to stop by and introduce myself. You keep pretending this blog's still anonymous, and frankly, it's getting a little awkward.

INTERN: Introduce yourself? INTRODUCE YOURSELF? Who the heck do you think you are?

real actual Hilary: I'm, um, you.

INTERN: Pfffffffffffffft. INTERN has, like, eleventy followers. How many followers does real actual Hilary have? That's right—NONE.

real actual Hilary: Go staple a document.

INTERN: Go hunt a mushroom.

real actual Hilary: Get your hair out of your face.

INTERN: Get your face out of INTERN's blog!

real actual Hilary: Just let me post this link and I'll get out of here.

INTERN: Yeah, yeah, like INTERN is going to believe that. Next you'll be using this blog to post cat photos and exceeding boring updates on your personal life. INTERN knows how this works.

real actual Hilary: Did I mention I might possibly start using the first person on Twitter?

INTERN: *loads bazooka*

real actual Hilary: Wait, wait—can I at least tell our mutual internet-friends the new title for my book?

INTERN: You mean the new title of INTERN's book!

real actual Hilary: Whatever. If you would like to see the new title revealed in groovy stop-motion form, click here.

INTERN: Is that a Tumblr?

real actual Hilary: Yes.

INTERN: You started a real actual Hilary Tumblr?

real actual Hilary: Yes.

INTERN: Can you leave now?

real actual Hilary: I was thinking I'd—

INTERN: *hefts bazooka onto shoulder*

real actual Hilary: *scurries out back door*


  1. Replies
    1. thank you! that makes INTERN very happy.

    2. I concur. (Though I'll admit to kind of hoping INTERN would land punch, or something. I had visions of a "Me, Myself and Irene"esque fight scene).

  2. 'Smith'. Yeah, nice try, cliche girl. And Hillary is spelled with two l's. Ain't spelt spelled? Who are you people, really?


    1. you're the second person who has expressed suspicion about real actual Hilary's real actual name! Smith is a real name, I swear...

  3. Dear INTERN, dear Real Actual Hilary, you are both delightful.

    1. why thank you! maybe INTERN and real actual Hilary can be friends someday. for now, the mortal foes thing is working pretty good :)

  4. Hahaha. You tell that girl, INTERN. The internet is no place for REAL people.

  5. LOL! Hi Hilary, nice to meet you. :) The stop motion is awesome!

  6. I hereby promise to buy a copy of this book.

    (Will you both autograph it for me?) : )

  7. I really like the real actual Hilary. She's nice.

    1. real actual Kristin is pretty nice too!

  8. Love you in either incarnation!

  9. Hooray Intern/Hillary! Can't wait to read it! i'll have some chocolate cake in your honor!

  10. I knew a long time ago. Hah!

    Hilary's book Welcome to the Jungle is super. Read it. Now.