Friday, March 19, 2010

from the annals of authorial awkwardness

This afternoon, one of Venny McPulitzer's not-so-bestselling authors called up from Osaka to ask how his sales were doing in Japan. He was apparently in the middle of breakfast with his Japanese hosts when he called, and wanted to impress them by getting his Venerable American Publisher on the line with some sales figures.

Whereupon said author was politely informed that he had no sales in Japan—indeed, the Foreign Rights person had not successfully shlepped his book to anyone—and no, his book had not been translated into Japanese quite yet.

INTERN has never seen anyone at Venny McPulitzer acting so undignified as in the ten minutes following that phone call. Howler monkeys could not have howled with greater mirth. Executive Ed even issued a chuckle when the news was related to him.

INTERN is lighting a candle for this author's soul.

16 comments:

  1. Husband says author was probably trying to impress some hot young Japanese thing.

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  3. Oh, what a story! Thanks for the Friday chuckle :-)

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  4. Poor, poor not-bestselling author. I may pray.
    If I have enough time.

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  5. He's been published. He's way ahead of me so far. A sobering thought. My novel isn't translated into Japanese either.

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  6. This is why someone invented calling ahead. It's for checking reservations and sales figures. Poor guy.

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  7. Have never been to Japan but have always heard that modesty is prized there. If so he was batting zero before he even dialed.

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  8. I thought authors generally keep abreast of when and where their foreign rights are sold? Poor soul. I guess you don't have to be totally on top of things to get published.

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  9. Errr, the poor guy, but why did he actually ring through? He should have just made up some wild figures on the spot. That's what I would have done. Uh huh.

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  10. aw i actually fee bad for him. thinking about all the executives and interns at vmcp laughing at him. :(

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  11. Ah, nothing like a swift, sobering kick to the ego to bring you back down to earth. Nice one.

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  12. AAAHHHH!!! That'll teach him! Be next time he calls in private.
    LIndsey Petersen
    http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com

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  13. Ouch. Good to be reminded every now and then that just because the end products (books) are so full of real people's sincere thoughts and sentiments, the industry that creates them is as soulless and corporate cutthroat as any.

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