Wednesday, August 10, 2011

writing advice books INTERN would like to see

Elements of Guile by Strunk and White: Tips on tricking agents and editors into representing/buying your manuscripts.

The Forest for the Bees by Betsy Lerner: An editor's advice to—OH MY GOD BEES!

Writing the Breakout Grovel by Donald Mass: How to beg famous writer-friends to blurb your book.

Building the Breakout Hovel, also by Donald Maas: How to build yourself a wattle-and-daub shack to live in once your breakout novel fails to break out.

On Smiting by Stephen King: Sick of writing? Learn the techniques of the bestselling smiter.

Nerd by Nerd by Anne Lamott: How to write science fiction and/or programming textbooks that will seduce the brainiest of readers.

Curd by Curd, also by Anne Lamott: An extended metaphor on writing as cheesemaking.

Writing Down the Clones by Natalie Goldberg: Clones are the new zombie-vampire-angel-trolls. Zen-style tips on cashing in on this hot new trend.


Which writing advice books would YOU like to see? INTERN wants to know!

Happy, happy Wednesday to you all.


  1. LOL! Okay, you've drawn me out of lurk mode. I'm a sucker for puns. Love your selection of writing advice books!

  2. Ooh, is that true about clones being the new zombies etc.? It so happens I've just published a doppelgänger thriller/romance called Replica...

  3. How about:

    Friction Writer's Workshop by Josip Novakovich -- How to cultivate a workshop environment in which vendettas and skirmishes account for 80% of the feedback.

    And I'd read Nerd by Nerd in a heartbeat. :-P

  4. Love this idea. A scan of my shelves brought these to mind.

    Pot & Structure, by James Scott Bell: outlining made easy.

    How to Write Science Fiction on Ecstasy, by Orson Scott Card: getting your explorations on paper.

    What Spliff?, by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter: keeping your inspiration safe.

  5. Haha! Love this! <3

    Eats: Shoots, Leaves, and Pandas by Lynne Truss - recipes for publishing success

  6. Stein on Fighting by Sol Stein - the ultimate rulebook on family fights caused by your writing.

    The Artist's Pay by Julia Cameron - how to apply for welfare when your book doesn't sell.

  7. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writhing: How to Wait Impatiently Whilst Your Query Is Out on Submission

  8. The First Five Minutes - If You Haven't Started Yet, You Never Will

    Division & Self Pity - What Happens When You Decide to Revise and Self Edit

  9. The Anatomy of Sorties by John Truby - On how to return from the defensive position and launch a surprise attack on the critics

    20 Mister Plots and How to Build Them by Ronald B. Tobias - A selection of plot ideas starring spray bottles and sweeper vacuums (for the surrealist in us all)

  10. "The Elements of Guile". Love it!

  11. Writing that killer dialogue - Robert Kirkman

    How I got some dang lucky with querying - Stephenie Mayer

  12. "90 years to your novel: A year-by-year planner for outlining and writing your book." by P.R. O'Crastination.

  13. Chicken Coop for the Writer's Soul, by Jack Canfield: a guided tour of a place we all know well.

  14. Turd by Turd: Your Guide for Surviving Rejections by Annie Lamott

    Elements of Bile: Your Guide to Surviving Rejections by Strunk and Whine

    The Writing Life: OhGODWhyAmIDoingThisToMyself? by Annie Dullard

    On My Writing: Or Why You'll Never Be as Successful Nor as Rich as I Am, Even If You Memorize This Book by Big Steve King

    Write Better In Other People's Opinion, Get This Close to Being Published Before it All Falls Apart, Be Creative in Your Mixed Drink Choices by WritersDigest

    -- Tom

  15. OMG, you guys are hilarious!

    Maine Character: INTERN is ordering "Pot and Structure" on Amazon RIGHT THIS MINUTE.