Wednesday, September 30, 2009

when you have a hammer, Nemesis Intern looks like a nail

Sometimes, an INTERN needs to put on a slinky dress and toolbelt-as-purse and go out dancing on a Tuesday night.

Techie Boyfriend: Where did that dress come from?
INTERN: Alley behind our building.
Techie Boyfriend: Hang on.
Techie Boyfriend: (returns holding a small hammer). Take this.
Techie Boyfriend: If you're going to wear that toolbelt, you totally need to be carrying a hammer.
INTERN: Got it.

Fast forward two hours. Music is playing, INTERN's girl friend has gone to the bathroom, and INTERN is making her way to the dance floor when a semi-familiar face pops up in front of her.

It's Nemesis Intern, who INTERN has not run into in months. He is wearing a blue dress shirt and jeans, and mostly looks like his normal Wusiness Beek self except the top four buttons of the shirt are undone, revealing a rather un Wusiness-like patch of skin.

Nemesis Intern: Oh my god, I totally know you from somewhere.
INTERN: Big Fancy Office Building. You're the intern for Wusiness Beek.
Nemesis Intern: Yeah! That's it! I'm not doing that anymore.
INTERN: Oh yeah? What are you doing now?
Nemesis Intern: Grad program in Econ.
INTERN: Tight.
Nemesis Intern: What's the hammer for?
INTERN: Busting heads.
Nemesis Intern: So can I buy you a drink?

The rest of the night was surprisingly fun. There was minimal talk of things Wusiness, INTERN's friend and Nemesis Intern hit it off, and comradely 2 AM pizza was had by all. And INTERN actually used the hammer (only somewhat extraneously) to bust herself out of a bathroom stall when the lock jammed. Coincidences abound!

Today INTERN is sleepier than usual, but all she's had to do so far is lick envelopes, so everybody wins.


  1. It occurs to me that all women would have a better time of it if they carried hammers around. Must go ponder.

  2. A happy ending with Nemesis Intern? Inconceivable! Are you sure it wasn't all a dream induced by the effects of that dodgy back-alley toolbelt?

  3. I've seen these skirts with largish built-in purse-pockets on Etsy and I've been secretly wanting one. You've inspired me to go for it.

    Also, the tool belt makes me think of Harriet the Spy, which is awesome.

  4. Was totally waiting for you to be wrestled to the sidewalk by a bouncer for being a terror threat for carrying said hammer.

  5. Good thing Techie Boyfriend was thinking with his ball peen before y'all went out, or you'd have missed out on comradely 2am pizza.

    I'm sure you started a fashion revolution. Too bad my toolbelt is brown, and my slinky dress is black. That's a faux pas worse than wearing a white thong bikini after Labor Day.

  6. Nemesis Intern: What's the hammer for?
    INTERN: Busting heads.

    This is pure magic :).

  7. Ahahhaha. I thank you, INTERN, for a smile and an internal laugh when direly needed during my middle-of-the-week slump. I hope said friend and Wusiness Beek Nemesis Intern skip happily off into the sunset. :) Happy Wednesday!

    You have quite an eclectic hobby collection.

  9. You need to market the Toolbelt-as-purse STAT!

  10. I SO called that one. TOLD YA that Nemesis Intern was nursing a little something for our own dear INTERN. Sounds like a great night out. And you got a good story out of it. Bonus!

  11. I can't believe you ran into Nemesis Intern! The saga continues!

  12. Dreamstate: Funny thing. Once the bouncer determined that said hammer wasn't a flask, he didn't care...

  13. I planted some Wusiness Beeks out in my garden, but the hound grogs ate 'em all up.

  14. Just for a real sense of constructionous-fashionista... roll a pack of ciggs in your T-shirt's short sleeve and learn to cat-whistle at hairy men! (Oh, and wear a thong with the toolbelt)!

    Haste yee back ;-)

  15. Harriet the Spy!!!! Aw, thank you for reminding me of one of my favourite children's books that I'd completely forgotten about! I even wrote my own spy story (featuring me and my friends, of course) inspired by her!

    I'm going up to the attic to dig it out right now!

  16. Another totally charming post, INTERN!
    But the Wusiness Beek part KILLS me!
    There is no end to your brilliance.

  17. Find Klinton Celly stat! Ltacey Slondon will rip you a new one, or find you a more suitable, thousand dollar, Armani collection tool belt. I can see it now "publishings up comming star, The Intern, wears tool belts and fairy wings. She has no idea what to wear, on this episode of 'What Not to Wear'"

  18. ROFL. A hammer. Damn, I could've used that a couple of times during my niteclub phase.